The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is.

My love for you is like a summer rose;
Always blooming, hardly dying.
My love for you is like a newborn kitten;
Cautious, yet soft and sweet.

My love for you is like a well-written book;
You can open it again and again.
My love for you is wide as the ocean and deep as the sea.
My love for you is everlasting,
Always patient, and true

You were like my lover and my best friend, All wrapped into one with a ribbon on it....

Thinking and thinking.. And come to the conclusion. I'm going. What do I have to lose. Nothing? I will be done with my job. Ready to move on with my life. I need this. I think we both do. This week has been great. Things feel good again. I been smiling. I kind of in a strange way think things are getting better. I feel confident. Things haven't been the best between my friends and I. Strangely enough, I feel like I don't need them. I have all I need. He always says the right things. He is simply amazing. I hope things stay this way. I love going to bed with a smile and waking up to turn off the alarm on my phone with the sweetest texts. Makes my day go so much better. I find myself lost in my own world just smiling.. I love the way I can talk to him!! Im all giddy writing this. Anyways Its about bed time. Just thought if Im going to have this blog I should write!

Niters!!!

I guess I just got lost, Being someone else.....

I guess this is my first official "blog". Today has been interesting to say the least. I guess all the little things are pointing me into the direction I had been going for a while now. I kept telling myself maybe I should stay here. My friends aren't THAT far, My family isn't THAT far. But realistically. Maybe in distance they aren't but everything else, They are. I barely see anyone and of coarse I get sad, and upset about it. But what's the difference if I go there as often as I do now by plane instead of driving? None to me. I haven't seen any of my closest friends in at least 6 months. My mind is definitely made up and today's events of drama and other bullshit that I don't need in my life have confirmed it all. I have been so worried about work and all of that. I NEED to this week get in the appointments I need. I need to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. I need to go to the doctor to get a new inhaler. Then i wont have to worry so much about getting laid off suddenly and having no insurance to get the things I need. If I just make these appointments and then quit. I'd feel better about everything. Next, I need to figure out where I'm going. I have had a few ideas back and forth. Where I really want to be, Don't look promising. I have to remember life isn't a fairy tale. As much as I want things to be perfect. I know I hurt someone who is the most important person in my life, especially right now. I hold so much in that sometimes I want to just let it all out. I can't. It hurts to. And I am starting to realize it makes him uncomfortable. I'd give anything to take back the past. But, that isn't going to happen. So, I have to live with my mistakes and learn from them. I need to vent somewhere. I guess this was a good idea. Where I can write and write about my thoughts and have no worries about expressing how I feel. I need to let it out a little. My head wants to explode sometimes, Like right now. I feel so content, yet so lost. I just want to get back what I give. I want to be cared for how I care about everyone else. I know that isn't how it is. Just dreaming. I find it crazy that the closest person to me in this world, I've never even touched. But, I dream about it almost every night and it feels so right. I go to bed every night hoping the dreams will continue. I always think of the saying "Why am I so afraid of losing you, When you're not even mine." I guess a part of me has been given. I don't want it back.

As of now I hear tornado sirens and I should get back into the basement. Maybe I will have more to say later. Who knows. If not...Niters.

Something I came across...

This was written to me by an old friend. Someone I trusted and was very close to. A real friend, Nothing more. Unfortunately, He is no longer with us. RIP Jon! <3!

Those Blue Eyes

Those blue eyes tell a story, a story of many woes and tales.
The world is not ready for what your heart has yet to unveil.
Words are just words,atleast thats what we say. Nicole how much of yourself have you given today? Behind those eyes I can see you'r pain and you fears. I ask myself how is she strong enough to hold back those tears.. What does this all mean I can't say....My only hope is that you will stay. Stay true to yourself and the loved ones around you. Don't let the bullshit in your life drown you..For years I have known these words to be true and there is no other who can compare to you. When all els fails and you feel mad or down, know in the shadows I will always be around. Your friend to guide you through the thick and the thin. A light to guide you and give you comfort from within.


To:Nicole P.

I always liked this.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are
yours and contain your food. The other dishes are
mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
paw print in the middle of my plate and food does
not stake a claim for it becoming your food and
dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by
NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the
bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than
a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do
not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually
curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I
Also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a
secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I
beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn
the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to
pull the door open. I must exit through the same
door I entered. Also, I have been using the
bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is
not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then
go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot
stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I
have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit &
Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on
your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it"furniture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,
hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children..

Kinda old. But I like it.

Everything was simple
Everything was fine
I knew I couldn't have you
And I knew why

I tried to move on, but couldn't
And I knew, to myself I lied.

You noticed me drifting
But, I didn't want to loose you
So, I tried to deal with the pain.
It's hard to be with you
It gets harder each day
I feel my body floating away

I miss the way it used to be
You don't feel the change
You don't know I really love you
I'm sure to you, it's just a game
As I close my eyes tonight
I'll pray as I was taught to do
I'll pray that you realize that I love you

Smile..

That smile is for the endless
Love that you have shown to me,

That smile is for the lovely way
Of how things used to be.

That smile is for the happiness
That we've shared throughout our days,

That smile is for the laughs we've shared
When our lips went different ways.

That smile is for the words we've shared
That has brightened up my face,


That smile is for the days behind
When we had so much fun,

And that smile is for the trials we fought
'Till all was beat and won.